” You trained me well. You broke me, a wild yearling horse, to the saddle. Now put me, trained and obedient, to use. You are my God.” Jeremiah 31:18
For the pasts three days I’ve worn a shawl of sadness on my heart–not the overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry, but a feeling that nags at me. I’m sure if I looked up the stages of grief, sadness is one that continues throughout the grief cycle along with anger, denial, frustration, etc.
A couple of days ago I called my friend Cindy, who was diagnosed with cancer a year ago. I’ve been wanting to call her, but at the same time, I didn’t want to open the valve to all the emotional feelings I’ve been going through. But I call her because I wanted her to know I was thinking of her, praying for her, and that I love her dearly.
I’ve never been on a horse saddle. They don’t look comfortable, nor safe without a seat belt. But life’s like that. If I hadn’t mustered up the courage to call Cindy, I would have missed the opportunity to take an emotional ride with her. But in Cindy’s way, as a loving caregiver, she didn’t let me fall off the saddle. We spent precious time catching up news of her family, her medical treatments, what’s on her bucket list, and where she is with her spiritual life.
Dear Lord, give me the courage to climb up on my emotional saddle. Amen.