Family dynamics …

“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.” Matthew 5:9 (MSG Bible)

One of my family blunders came during a time when one might say I had “widow brain.” Apparently, widow brain is a natural phase one goes through after losing a spouse. The ability to concentrate on every issue is difficult with everything else going through your brain. Nobody can understand those first few months (or years) after loss, unless you’ve experienced it.

I’m writing a book about life after widowhood, tentatively titled “Onward—After Loss of a Spouse.” The author wrote how the entire family is affected by the choices a parent makes following the death of his or her spouse.

My adult children are all in different stages of grief, which requires me to be sensitive to each of them. Minor issues in my head are major in theirs. One time I texted my children about going to a dance with a man I had just met. Their responses left me unsettled. One didn’t care one way or another; another needed time to think about it before responding; and the third felt I should have called instead of texted so we could talk about it.

I’ve learned that these reactions are typical after a parent passes, because everyone processes loss differently in their own time frame.

Lord, help me be more sensitive to my children as I move onward in my life. Amen.

About lindagillis

I am a retired church office servant, a writer, speaker for conferences, events, and retreats, and advocate for those who work in the church office. I began writing seriously after winning the 2006 Guideposts Writer's Workshop and being published in "Guideposts" and "Angels on Earth" magazines. I have self-published two book, "The Donut Theory--Meditation and Inspiration for the Church Office" and "Humble Beginnings--Daily Meditation Moments". My other passion is family and traveling to visit family and friends.
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