“Dear friend, … No need to panic over alarms or surprises or predictions … because God will be right there with you; he’ll keep you safe and sound.” Proverbs 3: 21,26.
This morning I stopped by the Volunteer Services Office at Banner Boswell Hospital where I have spent time during the past two years as a spiritual caregiver. It has been over seven months since I walked through the halls of that hospital where Glen had been. While talking to the receptionist, my heart began to race, and I said, “I think I’m having a panic attack.” Jean said, “Breathe from your toes, Linda, and let it expel out as if you were lifting a hot air balloon.” I did this a couple of times and felt better.
I have felt comfortable with my grieving process the last few months, and yet I know my body and memory are reacting to situations. After having perforated ulcers and stomach surgery in 1992, the first time I went into my office at the law firm, where I had suffered the first stomach blowout, I had an anxiety attack and had to lie down on the floor until my heart quit racing. I thought I was over the trauma.
I have yet to return to solid sleeping patterns since Glen passed away. Being too tired breaks down my ability to fight off anxiety. I’ll continue to breathe deeply and rely on God to keep me safe and sound.
Lord, give me added strength when I am weak. Amen.