“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.” Psalm 56:8
This morning, as I left my daughter’s home to drive central New York, I needed wipers for my glasses. Too many goodbyes. Besides the heart-felt goodbye to Karen and my grandsons, I had to say goodbye to Little Dog Daisy. I’m going to be on the road for the next month, and it would be difficult to bring Daisy with me. All morning Daisy acted as if something was up. When I opened the car door, she jumped in, planted her furry bottom on the floor of the backseat, and refused to move, as if to say, “You’re not leaving me behind, Grandma!” I didn’t abandoned Daisy. I’ll be returning in December to resume the “grandma” role to the boys and Daisy.
It has been five months since Glen passed away. Two weeks after he left us, I left home on the six-month journey we had planned together. I never pictured me leaving and returning home alone. Now, it’s time to face reality, probably with more tears. He will not be sitting in his Lazy Boy or at his computer when I walk through the door.
The Psalmist wrote God cares about my tears and keeps track of them in a ledger. It’s my hope it won’t be long until laughter and joy outnumbers tears and sadness.
Lord, thanks for acknowledging my tears. Amen.